my dearest diary!

why am i feeling this way??
i did so many things to distract myself today.
so i won't talk to him.
so i won't think about how he is doing..
but his friends talk to me about him.
and it ended up with me talking about him.
and i am thinking of him!?!
this is so not working well.
=(
suffering from the inside is so hard.
today, i kept thinking about the promises he made to other girls.
how he is like when he is with the other girls.
is he as sweet and nice as when he is with me?
is he genuine as well?
i feel so hurt.
my tummy hurts.
i haven't really eaten in so many days.
just the other day, i decided to gorge myself.
since i refused to eat.
i ended up with a bad diarrhea.
and i can't eat for days.
what is happening to me.
i want to relive my old days.
the happy me.

anyways,
i wonder if he is okay now..
i also wonder if he wonders the same about me.
or am i the only one showing my concern?
my tummy is acting up.
starting to feel nauseous.
will i be okay?
i wonder how am i going to live through the night.

today, i took a first step.
i agreed to go out with someone.
i told him its not a date cause i want to be clear.
guys can go out with girls for many reasons.
but when girls go out with guys, people only think about one thing.
and i don't want to be burdened by that.
i hope tmr can help me forget about him for one day.

forget.forget.forget.