dear diary,

i haven't been feeling upset recently.
i kept busy.
although i text him most of the time.
cause doing so made me forget things.
made me forget my horrible dream.
made me learn how to smile even for awhile.
genuinely.
i really don't know how to survive this without him.
my darkest secret will remain in me forever.
the hurt and pain i endured.
i sometimes think of it no matter how hard i try to avoid.
the guilt i get from thinking of it disgust me.
but i think its a burden i have to carry alone.
for the rest of my life.
sometimes i still tear thinking of how scary it is.
its been close to a month.
how time flies.
but the hurt and pain stays.

guiltfollowsyouaroundforlife.