Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
and oh.
finally.
i plucked
enuff courage.
to apologize.
i was fondling with my hp.
the whole day.
contemplating whether.
to send or not.
after a whole day of confusion.
i jux decided to press the send button.
and waited for the reply.
on one hand.
i think he might not bother.
maybe he is over it alr.
on the other hand.
he might be feeling just lyk me.
and since partly.
i was to blame.
i decided to take the 1st move.
the thing is.
whenever it is my fault.
it is alw.
ever so diff to get it over with.
so many problems.
lil issues just pops.
out of nowhere.
so i guess.
i'll need more effort.
but den agains.
after hearing the response.
i doubt.
i can go tru it agains.
weak as i admit.
im not cut out fer it.
some how.
everyday.
on my way to werk.
my eyes nvr fail me.
to look at the seat.
in front of the hair salon.
hoping to see a familiar face.
just how i noe it so well.
he will nvr be there.
never.
after work.
too.
my eyes just betray me.
i will scrutinize.
every possible place.
to fulfill every sense of hope.
i wish for a chivalrous act.
to forget things.
and start new.
but it doesn't seem possible.
and so.
the end result was to take a breather.
which i thought was ridiculous.
it was unfair.
i nvr took a breather.
not once.
no matter how bad things were.
i guess im the one with the chivalrous act here.
ppl nvr seem to noe how bad their words hurt ppl.
but as usual.
i act brave and strong.
no matter what.
the promise i made.
to wait.
i think it was ridiculous as well.
on my part. I mean.
i shouldnt be doing all this.
really.
i have never seen him in my shoes before.
maybe i am forgiving.
or easily bullied.
i dont noe.
but i never allowed him to be in my situation.
protective maybe.
maybe you are right.
just let go.
ive done it fer a week.
i can do it forever.
i can.
love does nothing but just hurt.
i will stop my tears no matter wad.
til next tym~adios!