Dear diary,
Does guilt follow you all around?
Everytime I see them, I can't help thinking about what happened.
What I saw in that toilet bowl that night.
I saw them again today.
This time, he is with me.
He said they were cute.
Just like bitbit.
I felt so awful.
But I just gotta keep smiling.
When am I going to get over this.
Will I ever get over it?
Haiz.
I saw him last night.
It was wonderful.
I never felt so happy in so long..
It felt so real.
I enjoyed every bit of it.
It doesn't matter what happened anymore.
It doesn't matter what pain I went through.
Alone.
The past weeks..
I felt like seeing him.
Fixes it all.
It makes everything that's weighing me down.
Just go away.
He makes me happy.
Just seeing him from far coming.
I can't contain my smile.
I can't contain my happiness.
I thought staying away might work.
But it didn't.
My problems didn't go away.
I missed him more.
But at least, I saved him the misery.
Of finding out the misery I went through.
It's better he didn't know.
If he can still make jokes about it.
While we were looking at that adorable bitbit.
Then it means, he didn't believed it.
From the start.
And since there is no hope.
There won't be any disappointment.
I'll deal with it myself.
I have so far.
And I'm getting better..
I feel healthier.
I hope there won't be any future consequences.
But, with all the worries and the direction I lost.
I'm happy where I was today.
I don't know what to expect from it.
I don't know if god is going to take away my happiness tmr.
But I am happy the way things are now.
Ifonlyyouknowwhatliesinmyheart.iwoulddoanything.justforyou.