is religion really a barrier.
between 2 people.
who are so deeply in love?
why is it that other people are trying so hard.
and we are just giving up?
is the love undying?
its so funny.
a relationship full of love.
happiness, joy, laughter.
is separated by religion.
and also by the fact.
we arent trying enough.
is it true people say.
if your love is strong enough.
nothing can stop u.
someone said.
im still young, there is more to come.
why does my heart says no?
am I thinking too much?
but I spend most of my time.
talking to this person.
who I don’t know why.
but is really nice to me.
although we just got to know each other.
and most of the times.
I really felt better.
just like this morning.
I woke up with a heavy heart.
physically I mean.
I thought I was going to faint.
I still went to work.
at 9.00 am.
my concentration was nowhere.
I was staring into the computer.
only when I heard someone walk.
I would wake up and start.
trying to work.
it’s a chore.
and then tears dropped.
I was bent on getting off work.
and go to his place.
I just needed to see him.
although we already know the outcome.
I need a hug badly.
I need a hug and a shoulder to cry my hearts out.
I don’t have that.
so it hurts real bad.
I was thinking of reasons to give.
but suddenly he came talking to me.
and then I felt better.
not instantly.
but at least.
after awhile.
even my beloved meinu.
was there.
I love her loads.
I don’t know why.
she seems to be appearing in my life.
caring for me.
even more then my best friends.
then she said some nice words to me.
I felt better.
at ease.
and I clicked his name on msn.
wanting to type something.
I know that if I went to find him.
or I messaged him.
I would want my hopes up.
so I stopped myself.
everyone is selfish huh?
I was trying to be selfless all this while.
in the end.
I gained nothing.
I don’t know to laugh at myself.
or be sad.
at this ending.
cause so many people tell me.
that its never going to end good.
but I never listened.
people say follow your heart and u get hurt.
its true.
and I got a message from an old friend.
someone I have been avoiding for far too long.
im not really avoiding.
probably he doesn’t know what happen.
and I blame myself for being childish.
I don’t know what to say to him.
to make him feel better.
all of this is coming at the same time.
I wish to explain.
but I don’t know where to start.
as im so lost now.
http://musicfreaktboney.multiply.com/journal/item/48til next tym~adios!